Cart, Horse, Whatever!

Cart, Horse, Whatever! post thumbnail image

Don’t put the cart before the horse, Na’amah! That’s literally what I’ve heard growing up my entire life. Hold your horses! Slow down! Don’t! You’re like a runaway horse! What the hell is up with all these horse metaphors?

Truth is, having ADHD has always impacted my ability to start tasks, organize my thoughts, and execute steps slowly and deliberately. And no one in my life – not even my godmother, a Special Education teacher – recognized I was ADHD. No one helped me. So I grew up hearing cart and horse, cart and horse, cart and horse.

Truth is, having ADHD has always impacted my ability to start tasks, organize my thoughts, and execute steps slowly and deliberately.

It’s made me very cognizant of the step needed to do things. Maybe for good, maybe for ill. Point is, it’s shaped me into the decison-maker I am now. I think about steps a lot. Often I will wait to take a step until I’ve thought about it three or four times. That’s what my lived-experience has done to me. Is that bad?

Doesn’t matter actually. It is neither bad, nor good. It just is. My lived experience has shaped me. I’m grateful for that. It’s led me to being able to plan out the steps I need to execute tasks quite well. Mind you, it’s all due to numerous fuck ups, which all resolved themselves. We learn from failure.

My lived experience has shaped me. I’m grateful for that.

So in this post, I am sharing a vulnerability of mine, naming it, claiming it, and taking the power for myself. I often put the cart before the horse because I’m so damned excited about whatever project I’m diving into. Is that terrible? No. It’s a good sign (though I like moving away from binary thinking). Being excited about a project is wonderful. That spark of inspiration is tremendous and helpful. So naturally, I’m compelled to put the cart forty feet in front of that poor horse. Whatever.

I’m aware that I do it. I own it. I take a breath. I write it down (for the 1000th time) and walk away for a moment. These are the tools. If you’re a cart-horse-putter person, maybe it might work for you too. Even if it doesn’t, being aware that you do this is a huge first step.

I believe in you.

PS, try my Vision Notebook if you need something to write in.

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